


A dream of us (a glorious picture)

by woollen_pharaohs



Category: Kidding - Fandom
Genre: A comedic lighthearted exploration of the loose ends of season 2, Multi, OT3, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:20:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23227732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woollen_pharaohs/pseuds/woollen_pharaohs
Summary: Jeff has a surprise planned for his two favorite non-blood related adults. Hiding behind the couch in preparation for unleashing joy and happiness, he gets stuck witnessing something that is... Unexpectedly arousing.
Relationships: Jeff Piccirillo/Jill Piccirillo/Peter
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	A dream of us (a glorious picture)

**Author's Note:**

> I actually had a lot of fun writing this, I hope you get some laughs out of reading it!

“This is not exactly what I had in mind when you told me that you wanted to move on…”

Jeff’s lips tear away from Peter’s cock so quickly that the smack of his lips sounds like a gunshot in Jill’s bedroom. “Should we stop?”

Peter paws for Jeff to come back to him, his hand slipping off Jeff’s shoulder, catching on his elbow and sliding down into Jeff’s palm. Jeff gives Peter’s hand a little reassuring squeeze, then lets go and starts stepping off the bed. “From the tone of your voice, I think we should stop.”

“Oh no, we can keep going,” Jill responds. She sidles closer to Peter and takes his lonely hand between hers, guiding his fingers between her thighs. She smiles. “It’s just not what I was expecting.”

* * *

Jeff has it all planned out. He’s hiding behind the couch in Jill’s living room, the string wrapped around his fist and all he needs to do is tug. 

“Oh  _ fuck _ , Peter,” Jill moans, the front door suddenly slamming open. 

Jeff’s heart lurches into his throat. Obviously, he’s picked the wrong time to surprise his two favourite non-blood related adults in his life. There’s no way he can pull the string now, but there’s also no way of leaving without notifying Jill and Peter of his presence. It’s fine, he thinks to himself, he can just wait until they go upstairs. 

A chair from the dining table scrapes along the floor followed shortly by the sound of a human body’s weight sitting on top of the table. 

“We’re gonna fuck right here?” Peter rasps, his breath ragged. 

Jill giggles. “I can’t wait, baby. I need you...”

Jeff feels as if his heart is beating out of his body like Thump-Thump. Well this is just down right inappropriate, Jeff thinks to himself. He tries to do the polite thing and sing a little song to distract himself, but stops himself remembering that to sing would to alert his ex-wife and best friend that he’s currently crouched behind the couch with a string tied to his hand. So he holds down the song and tries to keep it in his head only, but the scrape of the table legs over the floor and an incessant pounding of flesh against flesh is impossibly loud. 

“I’m gonna fuck you flat like a pancake,” Peter growls. 

The pounding stops. 

“Oh honey, that’s not sexy.”

Awkwardly, Peter says, “I know, I was trying to do a… I was trying to incorporate our thing into--”

“Just shut up and fuck me, Peter.”

There’s something indescribably odd about hearing your ex-wife get fucked by the guy who you ran over and consequently gave a portion of your liver to so that he would live to make your ex-wife happy because you knew that you weren’t capable of doing that anymore. Listening to them make love is not something that Jeff would have gone out of his way to do, certainly not something he’d ever imagined he would bear witness to, but he can’t say he altogether hates it. Every orgasmic cry that Jill elicits reminds Jeff of the numerous times they pleasured each other for the duration of their marriage, and every breathy grunt that Peter makes, strangely, doesn’t make him feel jealous. Rather, it's quite a turn on. 

His growing erection, he contemplates, might have something to do with this whole affair being reminiscent of his time with Julie Andrews. The sneaking around. The passionate love making in the nearest available closet - not entirely private but he was young and inexperienced and running the risk of potentially getting caught was something that spiced up their relationship until they did get caught. Then there was no more Julie Andrews, and Jeff didn't dare touch another woman until he met Jill. Nevertheless, marriage, childbirth, tragic death of a child and divorce since passed, Jill's body is as untouchable as famed movie star of The Sound of Music. He absolutely shouldn't be in any position to hear her pleasured cries, or her partner's, for that matter, and yet here he is. Cock raging hard in his pants, hand locked in place by a string and hiding behind the couch of his old family home. 

"Oh, uh, uh, oh yeah!" Jill cries. 

If there's a way to commend Peter, he'll find a way to do it. He's really doing a very good job. She was always a loud one, so Jeff can tell that she's in pure bliss, working herself through her first, possibly even second orgasm while her proposed fiance fucks her on the dining table. 

What a picture, Jeff thinks, what a glorious picture. 

His eyes blow wide, his lips curious. What if he looked? Maybe the sight would help concrete the reality of the situation and bring him to his senses. He swallows hard, tightens his grip on the string and carefully leans toward the weight on the other side of it as he raises his body just high enough to peer over the back of the couch. There they are. Jill's laying down on the dining table, her elbows propping her up and her hands splayed flat on the surface and keeping her from jostling about as wildly as her breasts. He blinks for a moment, hesitating at Jill's breasts, then follows the curve of her ass. Just below, Peter is slamming his thick cock into her, over and over, the pink flesh feeding pink flesh. Zooming out, the picture is a sensual portrait of two wanton lovers. Their eyes are screwed shut, muscles tensing, clothing knotted around their ankles. It's a  _ lovely _ picture.

Jeff licks his lips. He lowers himself back behind the couch and, in the process, his cock rubs against the fabric of his underwear. Yep, taking a look only made things worse. 

He doesn't touch himself. Of course he wouldn't, it would be uncouth. He waits, breathing heavily, saliva sticky in his mouth as he hears Peter's thrusting slow, and his, and her moans pumping through the house. It takes everything inside him to not make a noise, to not move, to not agitate the resting place of his hard cock in case he moans. 

If he had to give up the love of his life to anyone, he's glad it's Peter. Such a good guy, Jeff thinks while he listens to the gentle aftercare Peter gives Jill. Little kisses over her body, gentle caresses, even offers to get her a glass of water which would be incidentally, in view of Jeff. 

"I'm alright, thanks pancake. I'm gonna go shower."

Jeff hears Jill trotting up the stairs at the same time as Peter's bare feet padding into the kitchen. Jeff, paralysed behind the couch, watches Peter, fully nude, open the fridge and pull out a carton of orange juice which he proceeds to guzzle from the carton. 

Oh Jesus Christ, Jeff thinks as he looks at Peter's sculpted, naked body standing in the light of the open refrigerator. Bemoaning the name isn't out of despair that he was seeing a naked man in the kitchen in which he once used to prepare meals for his beloved, happy family. No, he isn't bothered by the idea, or even the reality of Peter. Peter isn't abhorrent in the slightest. Jeff is, in fact, curious about Peter. Never, not once has Jeff considered appreciating the body of a man, but here he is, appreciating every inch of skin that covers Peter's handsome body. And it is  _ handsome. _

It's because he loves Jill, who loves Peter, who both love him, and Jeff loves them immeasurably more, and it's crazy to him that he's… well, that he could love Peter as much as Jill loves him. Like a perfect triangle. 

Peter splutters juice everywhere and drops the carton on the ground when, out of the corner of his eye, he spots Jeff hunched behind the couch. He slaps his hands over his private parts. 

"What the heck??!" Peter cries. 

With his spare hand, Jeff touches one finger to his lips, then points at the string attached to his right hand. This only seems to confuse Peter more. 

Peter shuffles across the kitchen floor, a frown deeply creasing his forehead. In a more hushed tone, he says, "What the heck, Jeff?! How long have you been there for??"

Jeff smiles wanly but in a way to reassure his friend that everything's okay. "I didn't want to disturb you."

"Well thanks dude." He nods, looks at Jeff, then pulls his head back on his neck in doubt. "Have you....Have you got a boner??" 

Jeff looks down at his crotch then back at Peter. A slow grin creeps on his face. He lets go of the string. The string whips off his hand and activates a trigger which explodes balloons and confetti all over the living and dining room area. 

"Happy a year-since-a-part-of-me-became-a-part-of-you day!" 

* * *

So Peter's reaction to Jeff having a boner after secretly listening to them have sex was, understandably, that of confusion. There's plenty of confusion to go around, in fact. Jill is, understandably, confused as to why Jeff didn't speak up, or say anything about his desires even in their marriage. Peter is confused as to why Jeff is not just into Jill, but into himself, which ties into Jill's confusion but also Jeff's. And Jeff is also confused as to why he didn't think of spicing things up like this in the first place. 

The sex with three people all at once is also a little confusing at first. Jeff always knew how to pleasure Jill. Jill knows how to pleasure Peter. And Peter, surprisingly, is pretty good at pleasuring Jeff, which Jeff and Jill have a lot of questions about. But the answer help, and together they figure out how to have fun all at once. No one gets left out. There's Jeff sucking Peter off, there's Peter eating Jill out, there's Jill kissing Jeff and oh how he's missed that, and there's also a little bit of Jeff fucking Peter while he's fucking Jill, which is an all around interesting and satisfying experience. 

Not one of them really know how long it's going to go on for, which is also a little confusing, but for the most part, things are starting to make sense again. 

Except for Will. He is, understandably of course, confused as to why his parents, who had quite publicly (and internationally) finalised their divorce, can now be found in the same house be moved out of, making breakfast for the four of them. Jeff, Will, Jill, and Peter. 

"So are you guys like, having a threesome on the regular or something?" Will asks casually over his pancakes with maple syrup. 

"Will!" Jill cries. 

Jeff spins around, his apron fanning out around him. "Sometimes when a mommy and a--"

Peter interrupts, "I think we should talk about this another time. Let's just enjoy our breakfast!" 


End file.
